D’age Khaza, a writer of the virginic personnel in Atlantic, know that he had a big problem: she has hated a lot of their personality. “I was constantly worried about everything”, he said. “Just never lived at the moment. And I don’t really like to do something pleasure with other people. Just not my thing. “
How could you work at a party? “I had a fixed, and sincerely, sometimes just, as, read the items on my phone or only basically don’t swallow”, laugh.
Not surprisingly, many people don’t want to engage with khazo, either. “A single person called you, which had been of work, and just do it as much work as you can take a minute to appreciate life”, he said. “A person told me it was a fear of me when we worked together.”
Previewer, when he took a personality test four years ago, it was out of the photo – and emotions negatia … – stayed in therapy “” I took different medications. I have been yoga. And I did all the things of care. Nothing really worked. ”
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Frustrated, Khaza placed to make something more radical: she voted to succeed their personality. “I decided to spend a year trying to change my personality traits,” he has laughed.
Professor Shannon Sauer-Zavala described one of personality as “your thinking of thinking, feeling, and behaving. It is how you think about your behavior”
I asked, “I always assumed that once you have reached some age, your personality was your personality?”
“, That is truly, I’m trying, the prevailed way to think of personality, but don’t lie with our science,” saler-zavala replied.
The character science is his specialty, and his quest at Kentucky’s University could be a game game for how we approach the mental health problems. She says the data tells us is it It is possible to display scientifically change your personality, and that, with the fair intervening, introverts can become the incoverse people … slackers can learn to be calm. “In my almost 20 years of treating people with anxiety disorders, I saw Drammatic Serbs in 12, 16, 20 weeks, I was told.
Step one is a basic personality test, which asks questions as: “sometimes manipulate people to do what I want.”
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The next step is forced to act the opposite of how you normally. If you are shy, do the conversations. If you messy, make the bed.
Sauger-Zavala said: “When you make intentional rims in our thoughts, our fulfillment, and our company change your personality. We are in bubbles
“So you have adopted the behavior of personality you think you want?” I asked. “You make it easy.”
“It’s not easy,” sauer-zavala replied. “Principles are simply, but the execution is difficult.”
It was not easy to Olyga Khaza, life introvert. Among other strategies to deceive the social anxiety, has matriculated in a improval class with total strangers … something completely out of their comfort zone. “I was very, very scares,” he said. “Probably for the first three or four months I did, my heart was really beating in my chest, and I was deeply.”
What about afraid of? “I don’t like looking stupid!” She laughed.
Olyga Khaza
Murphy Murphy’s murphyty imrovies, saying, “For me, make the improvation has been a life changing. I have opened social. I have become a better to hear, a better collaborator.”
He said like Khane continuous coming to the class, relaxed flights
Song Meeting with Imrov, Khaza meditated, if you took a conversive newspaper, and hold a conversary newspaper, and also discatte in a new book “”
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“Newspaper newspaper project in some of the most positive elements of your life, if you are very neurotic, tends to the kind of gloss or forget.
I asked, “is this case of fake ‘until you do? ‘
“Yes, it is far a long, you, do” Khaza said. “Why if you think about it you feel fake you are you feeling it, nothing you are not used to do is to make it really unnatural. But the only way to do and more again”
“And just incorporate you in which you are?”
“Exactly”.
Today, Khaza is happy married, with a 14 month boy. As for this personality once he said I am a different person today than I had three years ago. I think I have a way of living my life, and I’ll get to trouble, I’m done before. “
So what advice has Shannon Sauer-Zavala have to all watch with completely unsatisfactory personality? “They don’t get it in a personality type box”, he said. “Think of the life you want, and then know you can intentionally develop the traits that easily challenge the trip to you.”
Read an extract: “Me, but better: Science and promise of personality change”
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History produced by Amiel WeDoghe. Editor: Ed givnish.
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